"It is a fact," he said raising his eyebrows as high as he could, "that the average mattress houses 2 million dustmites and that 25% of the weight of your old pillow is dust and dust mites. And remember - your body sheds millions of dead skin flakes and you prespire 75ml of fluid while sleeping and I wouldn't go to bed if I were you."
Later, an engaging fellow gestured encouragingly as a representative of The Authority looked on.