Sidney Styro, inventor of the styrofoam peanuts widely used as packing material, died yesterday at his mansion in Tonprinz.  Mr. Styro, growing up in the small fishing village which his father owned, dreamed that one day he might leave behind his father's fortune and do something meaningful for the world.

Young Sidney tried his hand at a number of challenging endevors but his efforts were not taken seriously, possibly owing to his uncanny resemblance to Harpo Marx, whom most people thought of as a joke.  As luck would have it though, opportunity came unexpectedly to Styro when, working as a dishwasher in one of his father's Styro's Gyros franchise restaurants (and wishing to cut down on the amount of dishes he had to wash) he accidently hit upon the formula for the manufacture of styrofoam plates.  They were a great success with the fun-loving Greeks of that era who, after eating, enjoyed throwing the lightweight plates about the restaurant like flying saucers.  This led two young fisherman, Cretanos Whamo and Petros Frisbee, to the development and marketing of the toy they originally called The Slow Gliding Nonagressive Flat Round Sporting Device - but that is another story.

Sidney Styro's invention of the styrofoam plate led eventually to their application as packing material while he was searching for a non-meat item to add to the ever-expanding Styro's Gyros takeout menu.  The white "styrochips" were attractive but proved tasteless no matter how much sauce was added to them.  However, through a series of amazing coincidences, they ended up being used as packing material for some Greek antiquities his father was smuggling out of the country on his fishing boats now that the fishing business was floundering due to an all too fluid fluctuation in flounder futures.

In an incident that may have presaged his death, Mr. Styro, working in his laboratory, developed an unusually strong buildup of static electricity in his 100% all-wool sweater.  Passing near a large open storage bin, he was literally set upon by hundreds of the light styrofoam peanuts which attached themselves to him like so many killer bees.  Styro flailed about in a vain and grotesque attempt to dislodge the wily plastic demons attracted to him by the power of the little-known forces of styromagnetism.  He collapsed and had to be rushed to a hospital where miracle drugs gradually cured him of his wild-eyed stare, blubbering demeanor and short, jerky brushing motions.

Not a man to be intimidated when world progress is the goal, Sidney Styro was soon back in his basement laboratory testing a new foodlike substance.  Strange as it may seem, what led to Mr. Styro's death was, in fact,  his dedicated quest to end hunger in the third world by developing a new food product that would also find favor with affluent dieters.  Taste-testing a batch of his NEW-formula no-fat mostly-air styrofoam-based yogurt, Mr. Styro swelled (in a thrice) to more than five times his normal size and expired.

It is considered by many a testament to his genius (as the inventor of an edible substance beneficial to dieters) that though, in his present form, he resembles (and is) a 30' high monument to himself, he can now be moved about quite easily by a small child.

Mr. Styro never lost his love of the ocean and, in his will, called for a burial at sea.  Ironically, as it were, because of his dedication to human progress, this will not be allowed.  The International Maritime Commission, meeting in emergency session, ruled this morning that in all likelihood the 30' long remains of Sidney Styro, if committed to a watery grave, would bob up and down in perpetuity, thereby causing a hazrd to navigation.

Initial reactions, according to those close to the family, hold that the styrofied remains of the great inventor will be donated to a prestigious museum or, barring this, may be exhibited at an, as yet undetermined, popular theme park.

Mr. Styro is survived by a daughter, Poly Sorbatina, a chemical engineer, and a son, Hiro "Pyro" Styro of Cairo, who, because of his family wealth, does pretty much as he pleases.  After becoming a naturalized citizen of Japan he traveled widely until settling down to "cook with fire" at his fashionable sushi bar in Egypt.