A message that may be of interest to those concerned about animal rights -

We at Heavenly Glow Cosmetics, the manufacturer of Stay Put lipsticks and rouges, do not engage in any research that subjects any live animals to unnecessary or painful laboratory tests in order to prove our products safe for human corpse use. In our laboratories, scientists only experiment on animals recently deceased through no fault of our own. By and large, these are small beloved, albeit furry, fathers, mothers, sons and daughters who, tragically, have departed after making extreme contact with trucks in the middle of the night, hunters blasting anything that moves, or, in some rare cases, falling meteorites.