A reality quake measuring 3.7 on the Beenzer scale was felt throughout Nocturnia at 1:45 this afternoon. The quake is believed to have caused a minor shift in the pre-subatomic matrix bringing about physical changes in some archetectural structures, land formations and a significant number of people. Reporter Garr The is on the scene.
Garr: By midafternoon hundreds of people had already lined up at the Department of Disgruntled Transformed. Special counselors were attempting to deal with the growing tide of folks dissatisfied with the personality "damages" caused by the quake.
I met Clarence Bolton, a black man who a few hours earlier had not only been a white lawyer, but one heading up a campaign seeking to have the Emancipation Proclamation declared unconstitutional. Mr. Bolton, a believer in the "consciousness collapse" theory regarding reality quakes, suspects that some twisted sense of humor might be at play in his case -- but he isn't laughing.
Mr. Bolton is hoping to find an official who might have the power to restore him to his former reality; however, he was not sure whether a black or a white official might be more sympathetic to his plight. He thought a black guy might be more inclined to listen, but not want to put him back on his old track. "On the other hand," he said, "a white guy would probably think I am jiving him, whatever that means."